Skip to main content

The Quilt

Blue.  Red.  Green. Yellow.  Little rainbow hand prints joined at the thumb make colorful butterflies.  Rainbows fly between them.  A single sketch of a little girl stands in the middle.  Peeking out from blond hair are two eyes- one blue and one green.  She always drew them that way because "sometimes my eyes look blue and sometimes they look green."  I can hear her giggle and see her squish up her eyes with love's silly face.  Her name is written below her prints- in her own handwriting.  All her friends names are there, too.  It is a beautiful quilt.  More than pictures- it is my baby's last class. This is the last project her work will ever be a part of.  The stitches are woven through the fabric.  Through my heart.  Somehow knitting me to her memory... to the children and teachers she loved and who loved her.  A precious piece of love and time.   I would have paid any price for it at the auction.  My bids would have no limit at the preschool fundraiser.  But it never made it out for bidding!  It was already bought!  Paid for by the donations of her classmates' families and wrapped in love for me.  A surprise gift for her mommy.

As  the school year ends, so will a part of her.  In some ways it's as if a piece of her has died again.  The children have "graduated" and will scatter to different elementary schools for kindergarten.  This is the last class that she will ever have been a part of... the last time she will be thought of so often during the year... the last place she will have a cubby or a spot on the rug or a picture on the bulletin board.  The memories may linger for a while yet,  but the proof that she was here will now be tucked away in files and drawers.  And in my heart. 

Thank you.  Thank you for the beautiful butterfly garden- for the butterfly bench painted in rainbow colors and the glass tiled stepping stones so little feet will remember hers.  Thank you for the miniature butterfly garden at her grave.  Thank you for the balloons and the remembrances in the program.  Thank you for the tie-dyed tassels to remind us of butterflies and of her.  Thank you for the amazing painting of her castle in the clouds and for hope.  Thank you for not forgetting her.  Thank you for not leaving us so alone.  Thank you... for the quilt.




Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Deafening Silence

In a single second my life has been radically altered.  My precious gift from God, sweet Makiah Kaitlyn, has gone to be with Jesus long before her time.  I know in my heart that she is happy, but my arms are so empty... my house so dreadfully quiet.  I feel at times that a horrible blackness has enveloped me.  I feel as though my insides are screaming.  I am clawing and fighting to break out of this torturous body- to escape from this oppressive reality, but I cannot escape.  The dark anguish leaps on me again and again.  It sits on my chest and presses against my very life breath.  My heart feels utterly crushed and broken- pummeled into a thousand pieces.  Life as I knew it has been shattered and the shards that are left are painful and sharp.  Cutting me as I try to walk through them.  This is the valley of the shadow of death.  How dark is that shadow! Her room is perfectly untouched.  All of the dolls in her dollhouse family are piled into their little bed together where she lef
Post a Comment
Read more

Toes

Outside the sky is grey and dreary.  I feel it should rain torrents today.  I think the whole earth should cry out in grief.  I feel my heart pounding in my head.  My eyes will barely open, and I think no more tears can possibly come.  Maybe I will stand in the rain and borrow the tears from the sky. I look down at sparkly pink toes, and they are lonely.  Makiah, our last Sunday together you spent the morning in bed with Mommy (because I am on bed rest).  We ate fruit loops and snuggled.  We practiced drawing your letters and painted our fingers and toes.  You wanted rainbow toes, but I didn't have the colors with me.  I promised I'd paint you rainbow toes later.  Once we were all pink you said, "I got an idea!  Let's put sparklies over the pink, and you have to do it, too, Mommy, so we can be twins!"  You are such a princess!  So pink toes became sparkly toes.  We giggled and hugged and admired our matching feet. Now mine sit all alone.  Ten toes that should
Post a Comment
Read more

Wells of Living Water

My eyes filled with tears when my mother-n-law told me of her friend's idea.  This sweet lady, whom I've never met, wanted to know if she could do something special in honor of Makiah.  She said God had put it on her heart to start a well project for her.  She would sell "living water well charms" through Operation Blessing International to raise money to build a well for underprivelaged children in a poverty stricken country.  She said when 600 charms have been purchased, a well with a permanent plaque would be built to commemorate Makiah's life.  Not only was this an amazing idea, it was linked to my daughter's heart in a way that shocked me... What this thoughtful lady could not have known was that only 2 weeks before the accident, Makiah came into the kitchen on a Sunday morning carrying her whole piggy bank.  She told me she wanted to take it all to "give to the kids who need clean water."  The preschool class at church had been raising money
Post a Comment
Read more