An Unexpected Journey

Twins on Your butterfly bench   2023 redo on the bench… it’s still there!!!!   Dearest Makiah, I always write a blog for you, my sweet girl, on your Heaven day.    I’m behind a bit this year… we are out of town,    and I’ve not been alone for over 72 hours.    We spent the day at Dollywood today for the first time, and I was so surprised to see butterflies everywhere!    It’s like little reminders of you were all over… even in the pumpkins! Last week I was in the car alone and the song Throne Room by Charity Gayle came on.    There was such a strong presence of God and as I sang I had a picture in my minds eye of my dear friend, Carmen, and she was holding you.    You were both dressed in white and worshiping together, and I sensed such joy.   I read several posts just now in my memories that she had made about you on your heaven day.    In the last post she said “soon, sweet Makiah, very soon.”    None of us knew when she penned those words that, in just a few short years, she would b

It was just a few weeks ago. Tears falling down.   She doesn’t think she can do this. Walk down that aisle. To lay her baby to rest. And I remember. Her hands trembling. She can’t get her earrings in. Family steps in to help. It can’t be real. And I remember.  She can’t get to the front. It may as well be miles. Heavy feet pushing forward against all that is right. They have to hold her arms. And I remember. Songs echo across empty dreams. The words attempt to hug her heart. They try to breathe out hope and covering. But she can’t stop shaking. And I remember. The day no mother ever wants to open her eyes to. Because your child’s eyes won’t. Just keep taking the next breath I say to her. In and out right now. And I remember. I also remember the first inkling of hope. The first time I heard God again. The first time I prayed again. The first time I stepped in church again. The first time I opened my bible again. I remember the two lines on the pregnancy test. The biggest surprise ever.