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Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Made For Glory

Pitter patter of the rain.  Splatting on my windows.  15 days until she's here.  My thoughts are splashing on the inside.  A foot rolls across my belly... from underneath!  I am amazed at the miracle.  That this little life has grown inside without a doctor's help!  Every test said this was impossible.  And we had the infertile years to prove it. 

My surprise.  My timely gift of joy.  When no one would have suspected that another little one was what I needed.  An accident?  Not in a million years!  Destined.  Purposed.  Created for such a time as this!  Made for glory.  His glory.

Last night I lay in bed and could not sleep.  Brave words have flown away.  Pounding heart and butterflies churning.  I read too much.  Writings from a magazine earlier... placental abruption...  cord choking the baby... no prevention... late term dangers.   Maybe she hasn't moved enough today?  Kick little one so mommy can sleep!  My thoughts turn to God and honestly, I find little reassurance.  Will he keep her safe?  Well, safe in His arms- yes- but safe in mine?  As much as we like to tell ourselves things will always be fine, I know now that is not the promise.  The promise is that though the fire engulfs you, you will not burn up.  Though the flood waters sweep over you, you will not drown.  Memories of the pain are still fresh.  And laying there in the dark, heart pounding, mind racing, the promise seems frail.  A hand to lift me out of the pit... but no gaurantee of  no more pits!

I read it this morning on the porch early.  "For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of  the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ." 2 Corinthians 4:6

I turn it over in my mind.  Let light shine out of the darkness.  I have been in the darkness.  Maybe the cracks in my soul and yours are there with purpose.  That at His command the light will seep out.  Something amazing coming from the nothingness that was the darkness within. Something from Him... placed by there by grace.  The knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.  The glory was in Jesus' face first.  In the suffering.  In the pain.  Shining out through cracks in flesh pierced by a crown of thorns.

We used to sing a song with Makiah.  To Makiah.  "You were made for glory" is one line sung over and over again.  I can picture her little face while she croned the song in the back seat of the car.  Music blasting.  Words of truth shaking mountains. She was made for glory. We were made for glory!

The pelting rain is slowing and so are my pounding thoughts.  Open hands are all we have.  Cracks for light to shine from the darkness.  I sing it soflty to the little one almost here. You were made for glory...  And peace seems to find me in the middle of the storm.

The end is my favorite... you were made for glory!

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