Skip to main content

The Day Before


 The day before.  Today is October 7th.  The day before.  Eleven years ago it was the day before my life would be flipped on it’s head.  But I didn’t know it.  It felt like any other day to me.  I didn’t know it was a day to cling to.  To hold onto every word and cherish every moment.  


This morning when I dusted off my computer and opened the app where I was working on putting my blogs into a book several months ago, the screen opened to chapter three and  this blog excerpt was looking me in the face.  I didn’t notice the date until I read to the end.  October 7th.


I woke up asking the Lord what to blog about.  I have been struggling to write after I finished my surgery leave last spring and regular life kicked back into high gear.  But God is faithful.  He always speaks to us out of His Word.  He is always waiting for us.  Even when we have been busy, He has not.  He is calling our hearts and whispering for us to come close.  To lay down the urgent and sit in His presence.


You see we do not know when we are in “the day before.”  But our God does.  And as I re-read this old blog, my heart is reminded that if we will stay in the Word, He will use it to give us moments that count for eternity, even when we don’t know what day it is on the heavenly calendar.  I am amazed that those last moments with my sweet Makiah on “the day before” were so prophetic.  But that is what the Holy Spirit does… He leads us into all truth.  


In this uncertain day and age,  we need to be anchored and grounded in truth more than ever.  I pray as you read this your heart would be stirred- not by tragedy- but by the profound love of a God who is preparing and speaking to us even when we are unaware.  We do not know the day or hour that Jesus will return or that we- or our loved ones- will be called to stand before HIm.  But God knows.  And He has given us everything we need to walk victoriously through the good seasons and the winter if we will just open His Word.  I pray that our hearts will shift from an earthly focus to an eternal focus…



The Robe (2010)


I sat in the cool brisk air on the porch at the condo sipping a steamy mocha. The sun rise was breath taking as the orange ball climbed up out of its bed in the sea.  Wisps of pink and purple peeked out from under the wavy covers and into the pale sky.  I was reading Isaiah 61.   I heard a tapping on the door and turned to see a cute, little face pressed against the glass grinning at me.  I slid open the door and the little blond curls danced across the pink princess gown as you bounced happily out to join me.  The chilly wind whipped around us, and I asked if you wanted to sit in my lap and cuddle inside my fluffy, white bathrobe with me.  You eagerly climbed into the warmth, and I wrapped my arms tightly around your tiny frame.  I popped an occasional fruit loop in your mouth as we snuggled and listened to the gentle sound of pounding waves.


I read the next verse aloud to you- Isaiah 61:10.  "I delight greatly in the Lord; my soul rejoices in my God.  For He has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with jewels."


I explained to you, Makiah, that this is what God has done in our hearts and what He will do for real when we get to heaven.  I told you He will give us beautiful white robes to wear and put sparkly jewels on us like a bride when we arrive there with Him.  You asked, "Mommy, will the robe look like this one?"  I chuckled and said, "No, sweetheart, it will be so much more beautiful!"  You laughed, and I held you close for a few more precious minutes before you wriggled away to look at something else.  Mommy had no idea that we only had about 36 more hours together... no idea that tomorrow you would get to see Jesus, and He would slip a beautiful white robe around your little shoulders and adorn you with glittering jewels.  I wonder if you mentioned to Him that Mommy told you about this yesterday.


I am thankful for that sunrise on October 7th...  that last chance to hold you in my arms and open the scriptures to you and tell you about what was to come... to tell you about Him.   Those special moments are a bittersweet gift that will never leave me.





Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Deafening Silence

In a single second my life has been radically altered.  My precious gift from God, sweet Makiah Kaitlyn, has gone to be with Jesus long before her time.  I know in my heart that she is happy, but my arms are so empty... my house so dreadfully quiet.  I feel at times that a horrible blackness has enveloped me.  I feel as though my insides are screaming.  I am clawing and fighting to break out of this torturous body- to escape from this oppressive reality, but I cannot escape.  The dark anguish leaps on me again and again.  It sits on my chest and presses against my very life breath.  My heart feels utterly crushed and broken- pummeled into a thousand pieces.  Life as I knew it has been shattered and the shards that are left are painful and sharp.  Cutting me as I try to walk through them.  This is the valley of the shadow of death.  How dark is that shadow! Her room is perfectly untouched.  All of the dolls in her dollhou...
Post a Comment
Read more

Toes

Outside the sky is grey and dreary.  I feel it should rain torrents today.  I think the whole earth should cry out in grief.  I feel my heart pounding in my head.  My eyes will barely open, and I think no more tears can possibly come.  Maybe I will stand in the rain and borrow the tears from the sky. I look down at sparkly pink toes, and they are lonely.  Makiah, our last Sunday together you spent the morning in bed with Mommy (because I am on bed rest).  We ate fruit loops and snuggled.  We practiced drawing your letters and painted our fingers and toes.  You wanted rainbow toes, but I didn't have the colors with me.  I promised I'd paint you rainbow toes later.  Once we were all pink you said, "I got an idea!  Let's put sparklies over the pink, and you have to do it, too, Mommy, so we can be twins!"  You are such a princess!  So pink toes became sparkly toes.  We giggled and hugged and admired our matching fe...
1 comment
Read more

Wells of Living Water

My eyes filled with tears when my mother-n-law told me of her friend's idea.  This sweet lady, whom I've never met, wanted to know if she could do something special in honor of Makiah.  She said God had put it on her heart to start a well project for her.  She would sell "living water well charms" through Operation Blessing International to raise money to build a well for underprivelaged children in a poverty stricken country.  She said when 600 charms have been purchased, a well with a permanent plaque would be built to commemorate Makiah's life.  Not only was this an amazing idea, it was linked to my daughter's heart in a way that shocked me... What this thoughtful lady could not have known was that only 2 weeks before the accident, Makiah came into the kitchen on a Sunday morning carrying her whole piggy bank.  She told me she wanted to take it all to "give to the kids who need clean water."  The preschool class at church had been raising mon...
Post a Comment
Read more