Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

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Saturday, March 26, 2011

A Smoldering Wick

It flickered and sputtered and then died out.  I struck a second match and held the orange flame close to the tired, bent wick.  This time it caught and the savory smell of berries filled the room.  Outside the rain was pelting the house.  Lighting a candle felt cozy...  peaceful... happy... something I haven't done since October 8th.
Re-entry.  Like a space ship approaching earth's atmosphere, I feel I am approaching re-entry into life.  It is looming before me, and my course is propelling me towards the painful process.  It is impossible to get back to life on earth without blazing through the atmosphere.  Dangerous.  Fiery.  Unavoidable.  Unless I want to float adrift in a sea of darkness and separated from those I love forever.  My life has had no normalcy, no routines, since the wreck and months of bed rest.  I haven't had a schedule or worked or planned meals or even gone to the grocery store.  I have been sidelined- knocked out of the game.  And I haven't cared.  But today I wanted to light a candle... like I used to.

My sputtering candle reminds me of me.  I am so incapable of praying like I did.  Or studying the bible like I did.  Or having faith like I did.  But this verse keeps coming to my mind day after day.  "A bruised reed He will not break, and a smoldering wick He will not snuff out.  In faithfulness he will bring forth justice..."  Isaiah 42:3  I hope it is true.  My life depends on it.

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