Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

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Wednesday, February 22, 2012

A 1st Birthday to Celebrate!

One year and one day ago I sat in darkness.  A profoundly deep, heavy darkness.  But at 12:45 on February 22nd of 2011, a sharp little cry pierced the darkness like an arrow of light.  One minute later a second arrow blazed just behind as "Baby B" entered this world.  After months of bed-rest and five weeks in the hospital, my miracles arrived!  Four weeks early but so perfect they seemed right on time.

Survivors.  Not only did they survive the normal dangers of a multiple pregnancy, but they survived the accident.  And the months of mommy's wailing and post traumatic stress disorder.  And the empty house... except for the belly that was so full.

I started journals for my girls when they were 3 months old just like I did for Makiah.  I am so glad now to have those treasured memories recorded!  Last May I wrote to them, "We lost your big sister, Makiah, in a car accident when Mommy was pregnant with you.  I thought I would never feel joy or happiness on this earth again, but then you and your sister were born!  Your every touch and smile and even cry brings a little more life back into my heart each day.  God is using you to restore joy and to help me have the will to live again..."

After October 2010, this mommy thought that the rest of my life was ruined.  Utterly broken.  Irretrievably lost.  That was the whisper from the lie-giver.  That I would sit in the deep darkness forever.  And there are still moments and even days of soul cloudiness.  But I am not forever shrouded by the blackness! Inside I feel a shout arising... that the lie-giver is indeed a liar!  And that there is life made available for us!  Even after death... the death of the body or the death of the soul while the breath still comes and goes.

So today we celebrate!  We celebrate the Survivors.  The Life-Givers.  The Ones of Hope.  Yes, the Bringers of Joy, even!  And of course the God who sent these little bearers of His image... I feel his touch in their finger tips.  And I am reminded of the light that shines in darkness... the love that crosses the chasm of my sin and builds a bridge into eternity where all our fingers will one day be entwined!

In her last pictures Makiah always drew 2 dots for the babies!
Abby 6 months

Alena 6 months

Happy 1st Birthday Abby & Alena!

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