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Compassion, Forgiveness, and How Easter Changes Everything...

I have a guest post from a precious friend today.  On a typical day you can find her grabbing a Diet Coke and doing a beautiful job with the balancing act of work, mom, and Pastor’s wife.  And some days we are lucky enough to get a peek at what God is speaking to her as she writes about being BRAVE women over here on her blog at Life on Purpose.  Thanks for visiting here, Katie! Get ready to be encouraged and challenged....

I sit in my car, tears stream down my flushed cheeks, and I beg the Lord to heal the pain in my heart. I cry out to the only one that I know can make it different, make it better... the only one who's love is deep enough. He knows why I'm crying - He knows the longings of my heart - and He knows how the enemy has used this pain to try and get me to run back into the pit that I clawed my way out of. Sometimes it seems harder to stay out than it was to get out - when life happens and it hits the right nerve and opens the right door of opportunity - when the enemy bombards you with those thoughts again... for me those thoughts look like this: "you're too hard to love. you're too much. you are not worthy. you will never measure up. unlovable. why would anyone be proud of you?" all these things collide and as you try and catch your breath, you see that pit and it's confining walls almost look comfortable... almost. But Jesus. 

Somewhere in a very different looking room, the enemy tells similar lies to her.  She sits alone in a cell as she writes to me in desperation - her words convey that she is trying her best to keep her chin up when she's talking to me... she wants so deeply for me to be proud of her, to love her... she speaks of how good she is doing and then the vulnerability takes over... her tone changes - still desperate but now she's begging for forgiveness... listing out her sins and her mistakes, and I feel like I've been punched in the gut when she says, "I know you hate me, but I would love to at least hear from you guys. I will keep the faith and continue to hope that it will happen one day. Until then I'm going to continue to get better and stable and build my foundation. Fill my purpose in life. One day right?" And as my tears hit the page, I can almost see the enemy whispering in her ear... you will never get better, why would anyone ever love you, you are a failure, your life does not have purpose, you're unlovable and unworthy. But Jesus. 

And as I sit there, crying out to Him, I glance over at my purse and I see that letter - the letter from her... and the Holy Spirit speaks to my heart... "She's asking you for the same thing that you're asking me for. She longs to be affirmed, to be forgiven, to be loved, and to make you proud. You can fill that need for her... will you?" And this is where the rubber meets the road. Will I? This is where I get to choose to either take everything I've learned on my journey out of the pit and use it to help others climb out or throw it all away. I feel inadequate and even broken... But Jesus.

Two very different girls... Two very different lives... one a pastor's wife who enjoys the privilege of freedom and of holding her three little ones tightly each night- who is fortunate to have never lived a day that she did not know that love of God... the other a woman who has been beaten down by a drug addiction that overtook her life, who spends her days in a prison rehab knowing that all eight of her children are calling someone else mommy tonight. Two very different girls... two very different lives... one common enemy... But Jesus. 

This all culminates during Holy Week - the week in which we reflect on all Jesus did for us. Watching images of the crucifixion this week, I felt the tiniest whisper in my very sore heart, "this was for you". Everything comes down to this... if not Christ and Him crucified and resurrected then what on earth are we doing here? We would be destined to walk around on this earth, in this broken world with no hope... no chance of redemption or healing... no one who's love is deep enough for the human condition... But Jesus. He bore it all - God stopped at nothing to prove His love for us... SO THAT we could live in fellowship with Him, not just in eternity but here... now... in the middle of our broken heartedness, our addiction, our insecurity, in the trivial and in the important moments of our lives... He's with us and He desires that we live into the abundant life He came to give us.

He was crucified. He died. He became sin - He became the sacrifice. His blood was spilled and His love runs deep. Three days later, He rose in victorious power... the enemy thought he had defeated Him... But Jesus. 

I don't know where you are on your journey this Holy Week but I want to encourage you... if you feel defeated, broken, shameful, unlovable, unworthy, hopeless... BUT JESUS. God loved us so much that He sent His only son to die for us while we were still in sin... that proves His love - Jesus took it all - defeated it all - so take a minute, repent if you need to, thank Him for His sacrifice, and then rise up, dear one, knowing that the God of the universe is on your side and because He lives nothing is impossible. He is Risen! 


To that woman, the one who gave birth to my daughter, I write, "Today is the day, Beautiful! Today is the day you begin to fulfill your purpose - because He lives!"


Katie 


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