Sunday, May 26, 2013
Wispy, purple tendrils reach gently up into deep blue sky. Bright, pink and orange surge up over the clouds, covering them with breathtaking beauty. The white rocking chair on our front porch creaks with the gentle back and forth motion. A surprisingly cool breeze has whisked all the south Georgia gnats away. And the little one in my arms babbles sweetly as we share these golden sunset moments looking out across the field toward the horizon.
And I think it’s all about the gaze. Where do our eyes look? So much pulling our gaze down toward the dirt beneath our grimy feet. So many distractions grabbing at our attention. But for this moment, my eyes are fixed on the horizon. And my heart is fixed on heaven.
Almost every account I have read of heaven describes the colors there as unimaginable. I look at the artistry before my in this May evening sky, and I wonder if it is just a shadow. I can’t picture colors any brighter. You know how it is when you have been wearing dark sunglasses all day, and you don’t realize how muted all the colors look until you take them off and the green of the grass pops and the blue of the sky dazzles you. Maybe it will be like that. The glasses will come off when we get to heaven.
I close my eyes, and I can see her here. My blond haired little one in her pink, princess nightgown sitting on the front steps with me. “Mommy, look at the sky! The colors are sooo beautiful!” she used to exclaim in her little sing song voice. And we would sit together and watch the sky and hold our breath at the beauty of the moment.
And I wish I had brought my camera out to capture this moment. The clouds are perfect tonight. Do you know when the sky is clear the sunset isn’t nearly as beautiful?
It takes the clouds to make the reflection of light look so breathtaking and the color swoop down so boldly.
And then it hits me.
His glory. It reflects in such deeper shades, becomes so much more visible when there are clouds in our lives to reflect it.
Those dark and menacing clouds, those things that are hard and painful and that we want to just blow away, are completely transformed in the cascade of light when our eyes are fixed on the horizon. When our hearts are anchored there.
The darkness becomes something riveting. Something reflecting an ambiance of vibrant hues in the light. Something reflecting His glory.
It draws the eye. Toward the sun. Toward the Son.
And hope springs up.
When we fix our gaze on the horizon.
“Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him (us) endured the cross…” Hebrews 12:2
“Set your mind on things above (heaven), not on earthly things.” Colossians 3:2
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Seven years ago today was the first time I laid eyes on you. Even now I can picture that blond headed little baby that the nurses handed me. I was so surprised that your hair wasn’t dark! You filled our hearts and our home instantly and for four years you filled our lives with joy and wonderful memories…
I remember that right after your 2nd birthday you started asking me so sweetly, “What you finking, Mama?”
Once I asked you to call your daddy for me and you hollered, “Cameron Kaitlyn King!”
(your middle name!)
I remember a time when your Nana and I were talking in the car and apparently not paying you any attention. You suddenly exclaimed, “Helloooo! Anybody here?!” You were so tiny to have come up with that!
On one of your Daddy daughter dates you were eating fried chicken and Daddy told you to finish up your chicken leg. You said, “Chicken leg? What is this?” Daddy replied “It’s a leg bone.” You were horrified and said, “You mean this used to be an animal??” Daddy nodded yes, and then you let out a blood curdling scream in the middle of the restaurant!
You were a little miss priss and became quite the manners police after your 4th birthday. You would say to your Daddy, “Daddy, you are not eating like a princess!” Another time Daddy did something you thought was gross and you exclaimed, “Daddy, you are such a dirtiness boy!!”
You are my heart. I used to say that to you all the time and you would say, “You my heart, Mommy!” So many mornings you would wake me up and say to my bleary eyed self, “You are so beautiful, Mommy!” I can almost hear you telling Daddy when he put you to bed one night about how you were going to marry him when you grew up. You told him what your dress would look like and that your hair would “go all the way down to the bottom.” You also loved to rub my pregnant belly and tell the twins they were “sooo cute and precious!”
You were such a natural encourager, Makiah. As I am thinking back, I can see that now. It is one of your gifts. There is a scripture that say that the gifts of God are irrevocable. He doesn’t take them back. As we celebrate your life today, it helps my heavy heart to know that you, my sweet encourager, are surely cheering us on from heaven. I wish I could hear your little voice imitate me as I call you my love. You always would say, “No, you’re my love!”
So I am asking Jesus to remind you on your birthday that you are my love. To give you the butterfly kisses and hugs I cannot. I try to imagine what you might look like now, but truly my deepest heart is asking God to keep you four until I get there. What’s the rush? We will have all eternity for you to grow up. I just want to see it for myself!
I had a dream that I threw you an amazing birthday swim party. I am not really sure what all we will celebrate in heaven, but I think if God spent so much time commanding his people in the Old Testament to have feasts and celebrations that are just a mere shadow, the parties in heaven must be unmatched. So please stay little for Mommy, Makiah! And know my love for you is unwavering while I am waiting for birthday parties in heaven.
I love you!
|My attempt to take a pic of the twins on the butterfly bench at Makiah's pre-k.|
|Special balloons they put for my princess in the butterfly garden!|
|These curls remind me of her big sister.|
|Sweetness on the butterfly bench|
|The resurrection ground|
|Sending balloons up to Princess Kiah|
|My Birthday Princess|