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Thursday, October 8, 2015

Makiah's 5th Heaven Day

1 Peter 1:3-9

3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, 5 who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 6 In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7 These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8 Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9 for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.


Sweet Makiah,

Every year it takes hold of me a little deeper.   No, not your death.  The weight  of the Truth.  In His great mercy.  I have been Given.  A new birth into a Living Hope.  Through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.

I don't deserve the Grace that has met me in my pain.  Oh, the crushing blow of losing you in one horrific moment!   But oh, how much stronger was the gift that already had taken up residence in my heart.  A new birth.  Like tethers of steel binding me to His love.  Love that is stronger than death.  Love that has conquered death.  Resurrection life that has overcome even your death.  Even the separation of a mommy from her beloved child.

Your body is dead and daily mine is dying.  But I am born into a Living Hope.  What is inside is Life.  The black grip of death squeezed my heart until I thought it would not beat again.  But I underestimated the Living Hope.  I did not count on the Everlasting Arms arms that were waiting there, underneath, at the bottom, to catch me.

And I am born into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil, or fade... Kept in heaven for me.  We only take people with us into eternity.  You are part of my inheritance, sweet Makiah!  Kept there in heaven where our relationship, our time together, and the memories we will make together are waiting.  For my arrival.  They can never die, be spoiled, or fade like memories here!  Oh, the adventures we will have in eternity!

The tears trickle down as the smile takes my face.  An oxymoron?  Perhaps.  Even as verse four says we are shielded by God's great power and verse six says " though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials."  His shielding is not always what we expect.  The darkness descended and the storm beat with fury against our house.  But He has kept me.  And my faith is more genuine than before.  Refined in the fire.  Makiah, your life and death has brought a gift like no other.  And it is of greater worth than gold.  Every time I tell our story, I  know your life has more meaning than the moment before.  And one day we will hold hands and give praise, glory, and honor to Jesus together when He is revealed.

Though I cannot see Jesus or you, I love Him and I love you.  I believe in Him.  And I believe I will see you.  And I am filled by faith, even in the pain, even in the shielding that is both protection and suffering, with inexpressible and glorious joy!  Because this Life that has swallowed up the death in me confirms that right now I am receiving the end result of my faith, the salvation of my soul.

Makiah, I will think of you all day on this, your fifth heaven day.  And I will blow kisses to the sky and ask Jesus to hold you tight for me until I get there.  And I will not take lightly the task of teaching Truth to your sisters so they, too, will hold you one day.  Maddie Grace has been heard talking to your picture on the wall about her toys.  The twins ask often when you will come back to play.  It is hard to explain eternity and weeping forward to little ones.  Although, a few weeks ago Abby  told me the reason she slept late that morning is because she was wishing you could come back from heaven because she loved you so so much!  She said she cried happy tears because she wanted you  to come to earth again.     And Alena has dreamed of you.  Maybe our hearts are knit together in a way I cannot understand.  When I had to leave for work and you would cling to my leg and cry, I always told you that no matter where we were, there would always be a string connecting my heart to yours.  It is true, Makiah.  Even death cannot sever the strings of love that bind us.  Earth and heaven are more closely connected than I once thought.

Bound by love,
Your Mommy