Last night I woke up in the middle of the night. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. The mom of four who is about to face one of the hardest days of her life. Or the littles who cling to her and how they cannot possibly understand. Neither do we. But they feel and they cry. Perhaps she lies awake tonight, too. Her pillow wet with tears. The sunrise brings with it a funeral. The light ushering in an hour that makes all of our knees tremble. She lays her young husband to rest today. Remembering all the good and treasuring his memory and love. I can scarcely stand to think of the day I awoke to a funeral. The day we buried my baby girl. So I don’t and I won’t. Not even here. It is too painful still to let myself go back. And perhaps not wise. I don’t live there anymore. There was a time when I had to grab my thoughts daily as they reached backwards and remind them constantly...
I have never wanted to be a blogger until this morning (10/23/10). For some reason I awoke feeling the need to share this journey. My four year old daughter was killed in a tragic car accident on October 8th, 2010 when our car was struck by a teen on marijuana. This blog is a small window into the brokenness of my heart and perhaps... one day, the healing. Do not mistake this for theological discourse. Jesus, not our circumstances, equals perfect theology. Be warned, this is raw...