Dearest Makiah, It’s hard to know what to write you on your 16th birthday. I’ve been writing these birthday letters for 12 years now. Sunday was Mother’s Day, and I sat in church singing with my arm around my mom. Her mom went to be with you just a short while ago at the age of 99. And I felt here we are- two generations, arms entwined, bookended by a mom and a daughter both in heaven… and I imagined a glimpse of us all in a row not separated by time or space… Now I’m sitting, thinking, beside a pond only a few feet from a mother duck who is trailed by her little ducklings. They watch her every move and do exactly what she does. Not wandering more than a few inches from her as they swim. Close beside her. Safe. “He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.” Psalm 91:4 It surges up in my mind. And the hot tears rush down my cheeks...
I have never wanted to be a blogger until this morning (10/23/10). For some reason I awoke feeling the need to share this journey. My four year old daughter was killed in a tragic car accident on October 8th, 2010 when our car was struck by a teen on marijuana. This blog is a small window into the brokenness of my heart and perhaps... one day, the healing. Do not mistake this for theological discourse. Jesus, not our circumstances, equals perfect theology. Be warned, this is raw...