Skip to main content

A Day Is Coming...


I have really grappled with this since Makiah's death.  And I don't have it figured out.  Probably never will.  How to pray???

"I have a bad feeling," he says.  The last time he said that on a trip we came home without our daughter.  Oh, we prayed psalm 91 for protection.  I thought those sort of scriptures were promises back then.  Sort of an unspoken contract that praying the right scripture ensured God's protection.   Her death has left me floundering.

So today on the drive home when he says "I have a bad feeling," a knot forms in the pit of my stomach.  My mind is scrambling for the way to pray.  Claim protection?  Ask for angels to gaurd us?  I fumble for the words as a few muddled scriptures come to mind.  Then I land on it.

The prayer of Jabez.  Cameron preached on this recently.  Jabez was a man in the bible whose name means " pain."  His mother literally named him pain!  It says he cried out to God and asked him to bless him and to keep him from evil/harm so that it wouldn't bring him pain.  The bible says God granted his request.  

So I pray it.  I ask that God would put His hand on us and keep us from evil and harm and pain.  Before, I might have thought this was a selfish prayer, but it's in there.  Written in black and white for us to read.  Jabez asked to be kept from pain.

And that day God granted his request.

 And then I remember that Jesus prayed it, too.  He said to ask that God would keep us from temptation.  Then in the garden before his death, he asked God to let this cup pass from him.  With blood and tears he cried out in inner agony and asked to be kept from evil and pain.  But he finished by praying for God's will to be done regardless.

And that day God did not grant his request.  At least not fully.

So when we look at life with that sinking feeling deep down, what can we do?  We can ask to be kept from pain!  We can't demand it because we live in a broken world where evil is permitted to exist.  For a time.  It will not always be this way.  The day is coming when God will wrap things up down here and pain will be eradicated.  The bible says he is stalling in hopes that more people will turn their hearts toward him and take the gift of life Jesus bought on that dreadful, glorious day when he drank the cup of pain and death.  For. Us.  He drank it so we don't have to.  Oh, we will still have pain and death on earth.   But we don't have to carry it into eternity.  It doesn't have to go on forever.  It doesn't have to be the end of the story now!

As we step into a new year, I don' t know what day it is for me or you.  The day we are kept from evil or the day we must endure it.  But I know what day is coming.  The day when he will wipe the tears from our eyes forever!  So as my family drives the rest of the way home, I fix my heart on that.  And the butterflies deep down seem to lite on this truth.  Their fluttering wings ceasing for now...

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Deafening Silence

In a single second my life has been radically altered.  My precious gift from God, sweet Makiah Kaitlyn, has gone to be with Jesus long before her time.  I know in my heart that she is happy, but my arms are so empty... my house so dreadfully quiet.  I feel at times that a horrible blackness has enveloped me.  I feel as though my insides are screaming.  I am clawing and fighting to break out of this torturous body- to escape from this oppressive reality, but I cannot escape.  The dark anguish leaps on me again and again.  It sits on my chest and presses against my very life breath.  My heart feels utterly crushed and broken- pummeled into a thousand pieces.  Life as I knew it has been shattered and the shards that are left are painful and sharp.  Cutting me as I try to walk through them.  This is the valley of the shadow of death.  How dark is that shadow! Her room is perfectly untouched.  All of the dolls in her dollhouse family are piled into their little bed together where she lef

Toes

Outside the sky is grey and dreary.  I feel it should rain torrents today.  I think the whole earth should cry out in grief.  I feel my heart pounding in my head.  My eyes will barely open, and I think no more tears can possibly come.  Maybe I will stand in the rain and borrow the tears from the sky. I look down at sparkly pink toes, and they are lonely.  Makiah, our last Sunday together you spent the morning in bed with Mommy (because I am on bed rest).  We ate fruit loops and snuggled.  We practiced drawing your letters and painted our fingers and toes.  You wanted rainbow toes, but I didn't have the colors with me.  I promised I'd paint you rainbow toes later.  Once we were all pink you said, "I got an idea!  Let's put sparklies over the pink, and you have to do it, too, Mommy, so we can be twins!"  You are such a princess!  So pink toes became sparkly toes.  We giggled and hugged and admired our matching feet. Now mine sit all alone.  Ten toes that should

Wells of Living Water

My eyes filled with tears when my mother-n-law told me of her friend's idea.  This sweet lady, whom I've never met, wanted to know if she could do something special in honor of Makiah.  She said God had put it on her heart to start a well project for her.  She would sell "living water well charms" through Operation Blessing International to raise money to build a well for underprivelaged children in a poverty stricken country.  She said when 600 charms have been purchased, a well with a permanent plaque would be built to commemorate Makiah's life.  Not only was this an amazing idea, it was linked to my daughter's heart in a way that shocked me... What this thoughtful lady could not have known was that only 2 weeks before the accident, Makiah came into the kitchen on a Sunday morning carrying her whole piggy bank.  She told me she wanted to take it all to "give to the kids who need clean water."  The preschool class at church had been raising money