I have mostly put away Makiah’s toys, but the doll house her
daddy and I made her from a special, old cabinet that once belonged to her
great grandmother still sits in Maddie Grace’s closet. It has pretty glass doors that close across
the front embracing the scene inside. I carefully tied the silver handles
together with ribbon when she left us, and some things deep inside were tied up
that day, too. Every little piece of her
tiny house sits just the way she left it the last time she cleaned up her
room. I don’t intend to keep it locked
away forever. But I just haven’t been
ready to open it up. It takes time to
unlock a house. And a heart.
Today I accidentally left the closet door open. The dainty glass doors don’t cover the attic
of the little house. Sometimes we forget
to lock ourselves all away. We leave a
piece exposed and vulnerable. Sometimes
someone notices it like my Abby who never misses ANYTHING! She emerged from the baby’s room carrying
Makiah’s little plastic dog that lived in the attic. She clutched it tight to her chest all
day. Didn’t put it down at all except to
eat and even then she placed it carefully on the table of her high chair under
her watchful eye.
And sometimes we realize He is holding that part we forgot
to lock away. And He is clutching that
part of our hearts close to His chest.
Never letting our treasured thoughts escape His watchful eye.
Tonight Abby is still holding Makiah’s dog close. She and her sister are smelling sweet and
baby fresh from a bubble bath. The music
in our living room is softly lulling little eyes to half mast. The light from the dim lamp cascades into the
darkness. Of the room and the
hearts. Barely. Alena is twirling around the shadows in pink
fairy wings and declaring that she is “Tinka Bew.” Makiah’s pink fairy wings. We are singing with the worshipers on the TV. “You
are making all things new.” Their
daddy is giving kisses like our Daddy gives breaths. “We
come alive. You are making all things
new.” The girls land near their daddy on the floor and become one big pile
of snuggles. “You make all things new. We are
free. We are free.”
And then I realize it. This isn’t just a random song. I am seeing it played out. It is real. It is true. It is called M.I.R.A.C.L.E. This life in this dim room. This worship coming from lips that were once frozen. These toys dug out of the closet where they were locked away from laughter and love.
And then I realize it. This isn’t just a random song. I am seeing it played out. It is real. It is true. It is called M.I.R.A.C.L.E. This life in this dim room. This worship coming from lips that were once frozen. These toys dug out of the closet where they were locked away from laughter and love.
And I feel that it’s true what Jesus said. When He arrived at the man’s house, they told
him it was too late. The little girl was
dead. Jesus said she is not dead but
sleeping. They mocked him. Until he raised the dead.
I never understood why He said that. Why did He say she was sleeping? Because we who mourn can know that it is as if they are only sleeping. They are not here with us. But they are not gone forever. They have not ceased to exist. We are separated, but the barrier is thinner than we might think. The time may seem to creep by with all the aching, but we will look back on it as the blinking of an eye. And even in the slow, painful seconds, He is making all things new. He is carefully holding the broken, hidden places to His chest. And He is breathing out life like a daddy blows out kisses. Because ultimately he has made us free from death. And free from the chains. And He is making all things new. Until the day when He will raise the dead!
I never understood why He said that. Why did He say she was sleeping? Because we who mourn can know that it is as if they are only sleeping. They are not here with us. But they are not gone forever. They have not ceased to exist. We are separated, but the barrier is thinner than we might think. The time may seem to creep by with all the aching, but we will look back on it as the blinking of an eye. And even in the slow, painful seconds, He is making all things new. He is carefully holding the broken, hidden places to His chest. And He is breathing out life like a daddy blows out kisses. Because ultimately he has made us free from death. And free from the chains. And He is making all things new. Until the day when He will raise the dead!
Makiah's surprise when she got the doll house for her 3rd birthday. |
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