Blog post was written by a dear friend of my family. She is a mighty prayer warrior and has spoken pearls of wisdom into my life at strategic times! I hope her story and transparency will encourage you to examine your own heart today...
Written by Sandy Wallace sandypwallace@yahoo.com May 5, 2019
What lie or lies have you believed in your life and how did God bring you out of it?
I gladly tell others about the hideous lie that I believed for years and how God delivered me from it, in hopes that no one will be tricked by the devil like I was!
My lie became so big and such a part of my carnal comfort zone that it almost destroyed the dearest relationship that I have on earth - that is the relationship with my husband of now forty-four years!
When I finally saw what God was shedding His light on, I saw that my lie had become an idol to me.
This lie was that I must avoid conflict at all costs! I called it my ACAAC idol once I recognized it.
I thought I had to avoid conflict at all costs when I communicated with my husband.
This idol - A.C.A.A.C. - was puffed up with pride. I probably don’t have to tell you that pride encompasses a host of wickedness - self-righteousness, self-pity, stubbornness, bitterness and rejection. I believe that the root of the ACAAC lie is FEAR. I feared what my husband would say, think or do if we had a conflict.
Once I realized what I had been doing for years, I did request that my husband and I go to a good Christian counselor. He found one in Atlanta and was willing to drive five hours round trip for several sessions so we could improve on our communication skills! That was a tremendous blessing!
Even if he had not agreed to go to counseling, I knew that my relationship with Jesus had gone at least a mile deeper and that the Holy Spirit would set my thinking pattern on the mind of Christ because I knew that God is trust worthy and will never let me down! He is my Deliverer!
I also realized that I was basing my security in life on whether or not I felt that my husband did or did not love me. If he was angry with me, I thought he did not love me, and I feared what he would do. If I disappointed him, I felt like he wanted nothing to do with me. If he did not come home from work happy and ready to find out about my day, I thought he was rejecting me. I hope you get the picture - I based my security in feelings and most often in false perceptions. When you have an idol like ACAAC it becomes a way of life for you.
So what is an idol?
1. an object made by human hands or IDEAS that do not originate from Truth or God.
2. is associated with an excessive and sinful attachment; or an immoderate attachment or connection
to an object or IDEA/S
3. is some thing or some IDEA/S that one keeps going back to over and over to reinforce it to the
heart or mind; it can become a comfort zone for us, blinding us from the truth.
MY ACAAC BECAME MY COMFORT ZONE. And during our counseling sessions I found out that I was acting just like I did in my childhood. When I felt alone, hurt, rejected, or sad I would crawl under our house and call my dog to come with me. We would stay under there for a long time. Even when I heard someone call me, I would not come out right away. I was avoiding the conflict I had in my emotions. That was truly an eye-opener for me! I certainly didn’t want to continue to be like a child. Yet, that was exactly what I had been doing in my relationship with my husband. I would not tell him the truth about how I felt; I would not stand up for me and my own emotions. Basically, I would sulk and feel sorry for myself. I did not have a healthy respect for who I was. The counselor gave us communication assignments which helped us learn to make appropriate time for serious talks. We had a basic pattern to follow to make sure we were hearing each other correctly. We found ourselves laughing sometimes and crying at other times. However, we did learn to consider each other’s interest ahead of our own. We learned how to love more perfectly like I Corinthians 13.
Another way of saying ACAAC is to say, “Keep peace at all costs.” The cost could mean that I would be willing to tell a lie, covering up the truth about how I felt. Living in a carnal comfort zone is dethroning God from His Throne and putting one’s self on the throne. My thinking pattern was not the mind of Christ, in fact it was rebellion. My idol of Avoid Conflict At All Cost had won allegiance so much so that I was willing to sin to keep it. I was not living in faith or hope. I was living in fear. Only when I became desperate enough to face the truth and ask for help did things change for me!
The only certainty that I had in my marriage relationship was the fact that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that God put us together. We vowed to love each other and respect each other and to not break our covenant. Because I loved the Lord more than anyone, I knew I had to get this lie out of my life. I was delivered from this hideous idol which was basically fear and was given peace. I received a new way of looking at myself and my husband. I was finally able to see myself strong and full of Christ’s love. I was able to see my husband through the eyes of love. I learned to intercede for my husband and to believe that he wanted the best for us.
I will always have a strong desire to have peace in relationships because I am very sensitive to disharmony. But in that desire, I will not hide from speaking the truth in love. Love is the key. God has taught me how to love a little more in line with the way Jesus loves us. I have now entered into what I call the “No Doubt Zone.” I will never doubt that God is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him and that He longs to bless my marriage with peace and lovingkindness. Avoiding Conflict At All Cost is a lie from Satan himself! But now I proclaim: the devil has no place in me, no power over me, and no unsettled claims against me! All has been settled by the blood of Jesus! I know who I am in Christ!
I do pray that everyone who reads this testimony and who has lived with a similar lie, will be determined to get rid of it. Living a lie can rob you of years of happiness. Ask God to deliver you and to give you strength to love yourself and to love others with Christ’s love. He is faithful to do it! Remember, the devil never wants you to believe that a thinking pattern can become an idol; but it can. We must let the Holy Spirit examine our hearts to see if there is any wicked way in our thinking. God is determined to make His own pure and holy. Just cooperate with the Holy Spirit and be set free to be HOLY!
Meditate on these scriptures:
Romans 12:1-2
Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
1 Corinthians 2:16 for, “Who has known the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?”
But we have the mind of Christ.
Galatians 5:1 Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be
not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.
John 8:32 Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."
John 8:36 So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.
Romans 8:15 For you did not receive a spirit of slavery that returns you to fear, but you
received the Spirit of sonship, by whom we cry, "Abba! Father!"
1 Corinthians 16:13 Be on the alert. Stand firm in the faith. Be men of courage. Be strong.
2 Corinthians 3:17 Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is
freedom.
Galatians 5:13 For you, brothers, were called to freedom; but do not use your freedom as an
opportunity for the flesh. Rather, serve one another in love.
1 Corinthians 15:58
Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.
Galatians 4:9 But now, after that ye have known God, or rather are known of God, how turn ye again to the weak and beggarly elements, whereunto ye desire again to be in bondage?
John 8:44 . . . the devil is the father of lies, there is no truth in him.
James 4:7 Submit to God, resist the devil and he will flee from you.
I John 4:18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear: because fear has torment.
He that fears is not made perfect in love.
Romans 8:6-8
The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. 7 The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. 8 Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God.
John 14:27 Peace, I leave with you, my peace I give unto you; not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
2 Thessalonians 3:3 But the Lord is faithful, who shall establish you, and keep you from evil.
Jeremiah 17:9-10 says, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? I the Lord search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings.”
Psalms 139:23-24: Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
James 4:8 Come near to God and He will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
God is serious about us doing our part as His followers. He loves us perfectly and He is a jealous God wanting worship ONLY TO HIM. We must have no idols! Christ has won all the victories for us. It has already been accomplished on the Cross, now all we have to do is to discern and repent, forgive ourselves and others when necessary, and go on with Christ. Only the truth of God will destroy the works of Satan. Victory comes not from changing our environment to avoid negative facts or events, but from interpreting facts or events through the prism of God’s truth. This requires spiritual discernment. This kind of discernment can tell the difference between a lie and the truth. The Holy Spirit gives us everything we need, including discernment. Christ in us, the hope of glory. (Col. 1:27b)
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