An Unexpected Journey

Wispy, purple tendrils reach gently up into deep blue sky.   Bright, pink and orange surge up over the clouds, covering them with breathtaking beauty.   The white rocking chair on our front porch creaks with the gentle back and forth motion.   A surprisingly cool breeze has whisked all the south Georgia gnats away. And the little one in my arms babbles sweetly as we share these golden sunset moments looking out across the field toward the horizon. And I think it’s all about the gaze.   Where do our eyes look?   So much pulling our gaze   down toward the dirt beneath our grimy feet.   So many distractions grabbing at our attention.   But for this moment, my eyes are fixed on the horizon.   And my heart is fixed on heaven. Almost every account I have read of heaven describes the colors there as unimaginable.   I look at the artistry before my in this May evening sky, and I wonder if it is just a shadow.   I can’t picture ...

Dear Sweet Makiah, Seven years ago today was the first time I laid eyes on you.   Even now I can picture that blond headed little baby that the nurses handed me.   I was so surprised that your hair wasn’t dark!   You filled our hearts and our home instantly and for four years you filled our lives with joy and wonderful memories… I remember that right after your 2 nd birthday you started asking me so sweetly, “What you finking, Mama?”   Once I asked you to call your daddy for me and you hollered, “Cameron Kaitlyn King!” ( your middle name!) I remember a time when your Nana and I were talking in the car and apparently not paying you any attention.   You suddenly exclaimed, “Helloooo!   Anybody here?!”   You were so tiny to have come up with that! On one of your Daddy daughter dates you were eating fried chicken and Daddy told you to finish up your chicken leg.   You said, “Chicken leg?   What is this?”...

I don't do this often.  But I can't get it off my mind or out of my heart.  I need to share the words that have gripped me.  Ripped me open to the very core.  Pinned me down and made me feel that I am drowning.  Drowning in the American Dream.  I used to think it was silly that I had to eat everything on my plate because kids somewhere far away were starving.  When I was a child.  But now that I am grown up, I know we are not so disconnected.  I am not helpless.  I read a quote by Elizabeth Elliot that said, "When you don't know what to do next, do the thing in front of you." Please read the link:  The 1 Thing Radical Really Definitely Has to Look Like- Right Where We Are And then if you can see him,  see them,  see the sheep calling hungry, go  HERE and do the thing in front of you...

The hearing... the dedication... all this crowded out a very special birthday in my blogging, but not in real life!  Two years ago two precious little girls saved our lives!  Literally, they gave me a reason to keep breathing.   I completely threw myself into planning a Curious George party for my curious toddlers to combat the post Christmas blues.  It was mostly family and really not a big deal, but I am sure I had more fun then they did...  Here is an overdue peek! Curious Little Monkeys! Abby Alena     If only we were a little taller... Happy 2nd Birthday Abby! Happy 2nd Birthday Alena!  

It is a warm October day near the beach.  The little antique shops are hot and stuffy.  We are weaving in and out of the doors in search of treasure and a little ocean breeze.  Scanning the old down town I am beginning to doubt that we will find an ice cream shop around here.  Makiah is three.  I give her hand a gentle squeeze as we stroll.  She smiles at me and chatters on about the mermaid toy she has seen in the last gift shop.  One more store and we will head out.  We step through the creaking door and peer around at the antiques.  I am about to slip back out when the bright white catches my eye.  It is a soft, white baby gown that is extra long and trimmed with delicate lace.  It would be perfect for a baby dedication... if only I were pregnant or had a baby to dedicate!  I glance at the price tag.  Only $10!  This would be really expensive new.  Makiah thinks it is "sooo pretty!"  I can't resist....

I have mostly put away Makiah’s toys, but the doll house her daddy and I made her from a special, old cabinet that once belonged to her great grandmother still sits in Maddie Grace’s closet.   It has pretty glass doors that close across the front embracing the scene inside. I carefully tied the silver handles together with ribbon when she left us, and some things deep inside were tied up that day, too.   Every little piece of her tiny house sits just the way she left it the last time she cleaned up her room.   I don’t intend to keep it locked away forever.   But I just haven’t been ready to open it up.   It takes time to unlock a house.   And a heart.   Today I accidentally left the closet door open.   The dainty glass doors don’t cover the attic of the little house.   Sometimes we forget to lock ourselves all away.   We leave a piece exposed and vulnerable.   Sometimes someone notices it like my Abby who never misses ANYTHI...

Because some of you are wondering.   Because maybe you find yourself in a prison of one sort or another.   Because my breath prayer is that it will bring Him glory. Because I want to thank those of you who prayed! The Hearing The courtroom is small but it feels full.   The raspy voice of the judge reverberates through the tense air.   It all seems so surreal, as if I am not really the mother of the dead child waiting my turn to speak to the one who killed her.   My hands are clammy and there is a lump in my throat.   I am not at all sure I can do this.    Maybe I won’t.   God, help me to be brave!   It is time to stand up and move to the front.   Up in front of where the lawyers sit they lead us.   We stand and face him.   Not ten feet away.   The grandmothers speak first.   I am nauseous.   I hate to speak in front of people.    I hate confrontation.   I hate that this is my st...