Skip to main content

The Horse and His Girl

Do you believe dreams can be meaningful?  Did you know that God first cut a covenant with Abraham after he "fell into a deep sleep?"  Or that he repeated the promised covenant to Jacob in a.... yup, you guessed it- a dream!  Most of us in this left brain culture would have said, "Wow!  I ate bad pizza!" and forgotten all about it!  Interesting to me that God would choose to have such tremendously earth shifting encounters with people in, of all places, a dream.  Of course there are many other dream stories in the bible, but you can search those out for yourself if you like.

I woke up this morning puzzling over a strikingly vivid but seemingly bizarre dream.  I shared it with my husband at breakfast and light seemed to wrap around his words and tears filled my eyes instantly and unexpectedly at his wise response.  Parts I will keep for myself, but the end I feel I should share.  Somewhere between early morning feedings I found myself deep in sleep and riding on a beautiful, chestnut horse.  It is not a peaceful ride...  wild animals are in hot pursuit, making ferocious noises and threatening to devour me should I be caught.  Somehow my three children are inside the horse (I know, I know, but it is a dream!), and I remember thinking that our safety depends on this sleek creature who is carrying us all.  Suddenly I am overwhelmed with panic because I don't know how to ride a horse!  We are galloping at breakneck speed with gnashing teeth just behind and looming dangers lurking ahead.   At that moment I realize I have no clue how to make this powerful horse jump or turn or go faster.  I lean forward into the whipping wind and cling to its mighty neck, weaving my fingers into the thick locks of  its sleek mane.  I am not in control.  I hang on for dear life.  I think in the dream that I have to trust the horse to carry us all to safety... trust that it knows the way without any help from me.  And then I wake up.

Driving to work.  Hot tears on my cheeks.  I whisper a prayer to the only One who can hear.  To the One in whom my children- all three- are hidden.  To the One who can carry me to safety though I don't have any idea how to navigate these tumultuous waters.  To the One whose only requirement is that I relinquish control and hang on for dear life.  To the One who is strong when I am weak.  To the One who knows the way...

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Deafening Silence

In a single second my life has been radically altered.  My precious gift from God, sweet Makiah Kaitlyn, has gone to be with Jesus long before her time.  I know in my heart that she is happy, but my arms are so empty... my house so dreadfully quiet.  I feel at times that a horrible blackness has enveloped me.  I feel as though my insides are screaming.  I am clawing and fighting to break out of this torturous body- to escape from this oppressive reality, but I cannot escape.  The dark anguish leaps on me again and again.  It sits on my chest and presses against my very life breath.  My heart feels utterly crushed and broken- pummeled into a thousand pieces.  Life as I knew it has been shattered and the shards that are left are painful and sharp.  Cutting me as I try to walk through them.  This is the valley of the shadow of death.  How dark is that shadow! Her room is perfectly untouched.  All of the dolls in her dollhou...

Toes

Outside the sky is grey and dreary.  I feel it should rain torrents today.  I think the whole earth should cry out in grief.  I feel my heart pounding in my head.  My eyes will barely open, and I think no more tears can possibly come.  Maybe I will stand in the rain and borrow the tears from the sky. I look down at sparkly pink toes, and they are lonely.  Makiah, our last Sunday together you spent the morning in bed with Mommy (because I am on bed rest).  We ate fruit loops and snuggled.  We practiced drawing your letters and painted our fingers and toes.  You wanted rainbow toes, but I didn't have the colors with me.  I promised I'd paint you rainbow toes later.  Once we were all pink you said, "I got an idea!  Let's put sparklies over the pink, and you have to do it, too, Mommy, so we can be twins!"  You are such a princess!  So pink toes became sparkly toes.  We giggled and hugged and admired our matching fe...

Wells of Living Water

My eyes filled with tears when my mother-n-law told me of her friend's idea.  This sweet lady, whom I've never met, wanted to know if she could do something special in honor of Makiah.  She said God had put it on her heart to start a well project for her.  She would sell "living water well charms" through Operation Blessing International to raise money to build a well for underprivelaged children in a poverty stricken country.  She said when 600 charms have been purchased, a well with a permanent plaque would be built to commemorate Makiah's life.  Not only was this an amazing idea, it was linked to my daughter's heart in a way that shocked me... What this thoughtful lady could not have known was that only 2 weeks before the accident, Makiah came into the kitchen on a Sunday morning carrying her whole piggy bank.  She told me she wanted to take it all to "give to the kids who need clean water."  The preschool class at church had been raising mon...