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Forever

I can't get the words out of my head so I think I will write them.  Over and over I turn them.  Trying to wrap my mind around what they really mean.  For me.  Oh I forget for a few hours or maybe even a day or two.  But they just seem to keep tapping me on the shoulder, demanding that I pay them attention.

Do not love the world or anything in the world...

Well, if I am honest, I love a lot of things in the world.  I love most anything chocolate.  I like hot baths and good magazines, the cooking channel, and lazy days spent shopping (I don't have those anymore but I can still think they are fabulous!).  Mexican restuarants...  melty s'mores by a crackling fire on a crisp, cool night... I could go on and on.

...for if anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.

Wow, that seems so strong.   Except maybe it means if the love of the Father is in me, I will be too full to love the world.  I won't have an appetite for earthly things... I am sure I will still enjoy them.  But maybe that God love can patch the holes in me, fill up the empty spaces so full I don't lean on my indulgences for support.  Maybe...

For all that is in the world- the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and the pride of life- is not from the Father but is from the world.  And the world is passing away along with all its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.

Passing away.  Temporary.  All this that we see and touch and drink and wear is temporary.  I kissed my little green eyed girl tonight and her preciousness grabbed me.  That she will live forever- somewhere- siezed my heart.  And I felt the weight.  It is not mine to control her, but it is mine to teach her and model for her and point her to that love.  That love of the Father that fills up emptiness and heals the cracks of brokeness.  I will influence my family's eternity.  How will I swing the pendulum?  Toward earthly things that are passing away?  Or toward the love that compels us to do His will?  I feel the weight of it so strong.  Only this one life to live, and I fall so short.

I hear a whimper from the little Grace gift sleeping near my bed.  And I am reminded to call for grace... because it is not my doing that can change my mislaid affections.  Only that Father love that waits patiently for me to turn off the ipad and the satellite and the cell phone so that by abiding with him my heart can learn to value Forever. 

  1 John 2:15-17

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