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Matters of the Heart

“Look at me, Mama!” exclaims my excited four year old as she flips onto the couch.  “Now look at me!!” insists the bouncy six year old doing cartwheels across the living room. And so it goes as the 7 year olds chime in, too.  Each precious little heart eager for recognition.  For admiration.  For someone bigger who loves them to have their eyes on them.  To notice.  To encourage.  To answer that question inside that wants to know if they are special.   If they are worth my attention.

So often I see a reflection of myself in my littles.  If I will take the time to notice.  But it’s more than just taking the time that brings it to light.  It’s something about the Presence.  When my worship music is playing, and I sense God’s presence it lights up my heart.  It illuminates.  And then it becomes clear.  The good, the bad, and the ugly.  It’s no secret to those who know me that my personality tends towards being a people pleaser, but it’s not until His illuminating presence comes that I realize it is more than just the desire to please.  It’s the desire for more than that.  And it’s painful to type, but maybe you will see a little of this in yourself if I admit it first.  

As the light shines on that longing, I find myself asking God to change my heart.   And I sense a quick response that the desire itself is not evil.  Just misplaced.   It is the direction that I need to repent of. There is a deep longing for validation that we all carry from the time we begin to interact with the world.  It morphs and changes as we grow, but it does not leave us. It’s a craving that no amount of human admiration will ever fill.  

And if our source of validation is others, what happens when God calls us to do something unpopular?  Something those around us have opinions about.  Some sort of setting aside or digging deep or stretching of our character or pouring out of ourselves that they may not understand- that we may not understand, but He has asked us for obedience.  What then?  Will we crumple or push those whisperings in our heart aside?   Will we assume we heard wrong and stick our heads in the sand?  As if God can’t see our hearts?

The strength to hear and obey comes when we enter into that place with God where His perfect love drives out all fear.  All insecurities.  Second guessing.  Self doubt.  And we feel His care and validation wrapping around us and making us whole.  Those voices will still come, and I do believe courage is “doing it afraid” sometimes.  But once we have tasted and we yield our hearts, we know where to run back to.  And the path will become more familiar, perhaps more well worn, and our tendencies to turn there will become stronger.  

As we step into February, let’s be like little children and ask Daddy God to tell us what He thinks.  Let’s determine to take the time away from social media to open His love letter to us and hear Him whisper His promises to our hearts.  His thoughts towards you are good.  I know because I’ve read it. 



"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear... " 1 John 4:18


"As for me I behold Your face in righteousness; when I awake, I will be satisfied with Your presence."  Psalm 17:15

They sometimes all shout at once...
"Look at me!!!" 



"But to all who did receive Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God--"    John 1:12
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