I am so excited for you to hear from my dear friend, Katie. We met when she was a sassy, teenage check out girl in Harvey's grocery store in Cairo, Ga and I was a newlywed who didn't know how to cook and actually went back to the store like 3 or 4 times in one night because I kept forgetting things! She made a joke and we both laughed! Little did I know a few years later, she would come on staff at our church, and we would become fast friends. She loves Jesus and has been a friend through thick and thin...
The Lie: I can do everything.
It’s almost midnight and there I am standing in my kitchen, covered in flour (me and the kitchen) as I’m trying to squeeze out the last of the cookies for my kid’s holiday celebrations at school. I’m exhausted. I’ve hurriedly put my kids to bed that night so that I can move onto this “important” task of baking them cookies to show I love them. I’ve snapped at my husband at least 5 times. I will drag myself to bed in another hour and I’ll wake up tomorrow feeling guilty for all the angry outbursts, even more exhausted from the lack of sleep, and that cloud of overwhelm… it just got bigger.
I’m a go getter. I run hard. I bite off more than I can chew in almost every circumstance. I have somehow convinced myself that I can do it all – even though I’ve never actually accomplished doing it all or at least doing it all well and up to my standards. I work a full time job that is an hour a way from my home so a 40 hour a week job is more like 50 because of the commute. My husband is a pastor so when I’m not at work, there are still responsibilities I share helping him serve our church and our community. We have three beautiful, growing children who (of course) constantly need something including loads of our attention, and the list goes on from there… so does yours.
In the midst of all of those responsibilities there are also all the other things… you know, you have a list too. Mine goes something like this: when is the last time you called your parents, you know you need to get that done? Oh crap, you forgot to shave your legs… oh well, hubby is just going to have to take me as I am… again! The house is a wreck, will this laundry ever be caught up? Don’t forget you need to pack your lunch so you can really stick to this diet and lose this weight. Oh remember the kids have soccer practice in this town and dance in that one on the same night. Can I get by just one more day with dry shampoo? Are all the bills paid? Am I a good mom? I should call my friends and check on them. Do the kids have everything they need? Am I meeting my husband’s needs? Man, I could really use a day off…
It’s no secret that we are flooded with the constant message that we aren’t enough and that keeps us in a cycle of trying to do ALL the things!! Our culture tells us we have to be beautiful and practically perfect to keep up. But what often happens is that the more we try to do it all, the more our bodies, minds, and spirits rebel. In one way or the other, they make us rest. Honestly, I think God designed us that way. He knew when He created us that we would try to do too much, be all the things and He knew that we wouldn’t be able to measure up. He designed us to work and rest. To briskly walk and to take a leisurely stroll… we need both.
Here’s the truth. We can do all the things. But we can’t do them well. It’s like this… we can be a really good friend to a couple of people or we can be a not so good friend to a multitude. We can either have a life marked by quality OR one marked by quantity but we can’t have both. Some things we don’t have control over but there are plenty of things we do… and we must learn to choose what is and what isn’t important enough to make our list.
I wish I could go back to earlier in the night. Before I and the kitchen were covered with flour and before I was sobbing tears of failure and overwhelm. I wish I had decided that homemade cookies are nice but 20 years from now, my kids won’t remember if I made them or bought them… but they will remember how I spoke to them, tucked them in, and how they felt in my presence. My marriage isn’t built by me stressing myself out over cleanliness and culinary mastery, but on walking out of the kitchen and into the arms of my husband. The laundry, the dishes, the homemade cookies, the beauty routine, the monstrous to do list… they don’t make a life. How we show up for the people that God has entrusted to us- that’s where our life is. We can’t do everything, but when we take the time to allow God to speak into our lives and guide us to what is most important, we can give our everything well.
The Lie: I can do everything.
It’s almost midnight and there I am standing in my kitchen, covered in flour (me and the kitchen) as I’m trying to squeeze out the last of the cookies for my kid’s holiday celebrations at school. I’m exhausted. I’ve hurriedly put my kids to bed that night so that I can move onto this “important” task of baking them cookies to show I love them. I’ve snapped at my husband at least 5 times. I will drag myself to bed in another hour and I’ll wake up tomorrow feeling guilty for all the angry outbursts, even more exhausted from the lack of sleep, and that cloud of overwhelm… it just got bigger.
I’m a go getter. I run hard. I bite off more than I can chew in almost every circumstance. I have somehow convinced myself that I can do it all – even though I’ve never actually accomplished doing it all or at least doing it all well and up to my standards. I work a full time job that is an hour a way from my home so a 40 hour a week job is more like 50 because of the commute. My husband is a pastor so when I’m not at work, there are still responsibilities I share helping him serve our church and our community. We have three beautiful, growing children who (of course) constantly need something including loads of our attention, and the list goes on from there… so does yours.
In the midst of all of those responsibilities there are also all the other things… you know, you have a list too. Mine goes something like this: when is the last time you called your parents, you know you need to get that done? Oh crap, you forgot to shave your legs… oh well, hubby is just going to have to take me as I am… again! The house is a wreck, will this laundry ever be caught up? Don’t forget you need to pack your lunch so you can really stick to this diet and lose this weight. Oh remember the kids have soccer practice in this town and dance in that one on the same night. Can I get by just one more day with dry shampoo? Are all the bills paid? Am I a good mom? I should call my friends and check on them. Do the kids have everything they need? Am I meeting my husband’s needs? Man, I could really use a day off…
It’s no secret that we are flooded with the constant message that we aren’t enough and that keeps us in a cycle of trying to do ALL the things!! Our culture tells us we have to be beautiful and practically perfect to keep up. But what often happens is that the more we try to do it all, the more our bodies, minds, and spirits rebel. In one way or the other, they make us rest. Honestly, I think God designed us that way. He knew when He created us that we would try to do too much, be all the things and He knew that we wouldn’t be able to measure up. He designed us to work and rest. To briskly walk and to take a leisurely stroll… we need both.
Here’s the truth. We can do all the things. But we can’t do them well. It’s like this… we can be a really good friend to a couple of people or we can be a not so good friend to a multitude. We can either have a life marked by quality OR one marked by quantity but we can’t have both. Some things we don’t have control over but there are plenty of things we do… and we must learn to choose what is and what isn’t important enough to make our list.
I wish I could go back to earlier in the night. Before I and the kitchen were covered with flour and before I was sobbing tears of failure and overwhelm. I wish I had decided that homemade cookies are nice but 20 years from now, my kids won’t remember if I made them or bought them… but they will remember how I spoke to them, tucked them in, and how they felt in my presence. My marriage isn’t built by me stressing myself out over cleanliness and culinary mastery, but on walking out of the kitchen and into the arms of my husband. The laundry, the dishes, the homemade cookies, the beauty routine, the monstrous to do list… they don’t make a life. How we show up for the people that God has entrusted to us- that’s where our life is. We can’t do everything, but when we take the time to allow God to speak into our lives and guide us to what is most important, we can give our everything well.
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