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The Lies We Believe Post #3

This week one of my dearest friends has opened up about a struggle she faced this fall... and in this season of life.  My friend Avril is an amazing lady who juggles work, family, a demanding job, and a doctoral program while keeping her beautiful smile in tact.  I truly don't know how she does it all! I hope as she opens up her heart this week that you will see a bit if your own struggles and hear God's encouraging whisper  calling you deeper...

“Mommy, I want to join the swim team” Eight words that may seem pretty benign. Eight words that for any other parent may have brought joy or a sense of pride that their child was seeking a new adventure. Not me. I froze at the sound of those eight words. Why? Because I knew it just wasn’t just a question; it was a test. You see, last year, when Olivia, our 16-year-old, asked me that very same question, I immediately dismissed the idea. I convinced
myself she didn’t have the skills for competitive swimming so why bother. At least that’s the excuse I allowed myself to believe. This year though...this year is different. This year I’m in a different place in my faith journey. God is taking me through a season of letting go. A season of releasing me of the lie that I am in control. God has been revealing areas of my life that I have allowed to be dictated by fear and the need to control the outcome. Olivia and all of her activities are among those areas. You see, Olivia has Sickle Cell Anemia. A condition that, when triggered, causes her unbearable pain. In her 16 years, I have spent countless hours in the emergency room, watching as she writhed in pain. Sitting there...helpless. Sitting there...not in control. Those moments make me sad and angry all at the same time. Why wouldn’t I want to do everything in my power to protect her from that...or are my actions really to protect me...from feeling helpless and not in control. 

Conditions that trigger her pain...lack of oxygen, dehydration, extreme heat or extreme cold and overexertion. Don’t those conditions sound exactly like competitive swimming?! Why God? Why must you test me in this way? Then He spoke very clearly...."Will you trust me with her? Will you let me do My work in her life? I have great plans for her. Plans for her to reach this world in My name. Plans that will take her into places and spaces where you will not be able to help her or control the outcome. I cannot do My work as long as you are holding on so tightly. This is your first step...of letting go”. I’m not sure how long I was frozen...lost in my thoughts but my trance was interrupted by Olivia’s voice, “Mommy, did you hear me?” I did hear her, but I didn’t want to. “Yes, we’ll talk about it later”. 

Everything was coming full circle. When I was pregnant with Olivia, I had a dream that she came out of the womb preaching the gospel. About a year ago, during one of our weekly church services, she had a Word spoken over her that her feet would touch many nations. This week as we spoke about college options and her passions, she stated she wanted to reach the world for Christ. As I wrestled with all of this, God placed a scripture on my heart...”Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth.” Psalms‬ ‭127:4‬. Can you imagine a trained warrior, a person who has spent her entire life preparing for battle by sharpening her arrow and perfecting her aim? Imagine her going into battle, drawing her arrow, placing it in the bow, pulling back, making perfect aim, but then not letting go?! That’s what we do as parents when we spend years pouring God’s truth into our children, sacrificing sleep, spending hours on our knees, preparing them for the future, and then not letting go...not releasing them to fulfill their God-given purpose. This is my current journey. A difficult but necessary one. Learning to let go of my first arrow. So, today, I took my first step on that journey. As I sit here at the side of the pool during Olivia’s first swim team practice. Sitting here...helpless. Sitting here...not in control. 

As you raise your children, may God grant you the wisdom and strength to guide and mold them. May He also grant you the faith and courage to let go. 

~~~~~~~~~
“We give birth to our children, but they do not belong to us.” ~ Marcus Buckingham 

”Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth.” ~ Psalms‬ ‭127:4‬.


Beautiful Olivia!!!







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